Clinical Depression...

...is a funny thing. Not funny-ha-ha. Funny as in 'That wanker was a funny bloke'.
It's funny in that it numbs you, makes you feel like doing nothing but wallow. Makes you feel like you can't be arsed to write anything more.

Oxford Street And Why Everything I Like Turns to Gold.

Yo. One has been quite busy, and a post is sorely needed.
So, yesterday, Leela and I hit Oxford Street hard, Livin It Up in jean shorts, Hilfiger rags and shades. Since it was a day so packed with laughs, wouldn't-stop-for-a-war-veteran-traffic and dead-leg-shopping, here's a rundown of the kick-ass-day

• The two of us observing an incredibly awkward train conversation, in which a Scottish lady got completely left in the shit by a hacked-off-mum. We laughed our asses of, and tried to diffuse the situation - 'Hey Look... CORN!
• Walking into the Pret A Mange kitchens, thinking it was extra seating. 'Oh, right. Well, now I can complain about this crappy sandwich much more directly'.
• First time I've ever entered a shop in which they take the clothes away after you've tried them on.
• Commented on a shoe, turned into some sort of racial appreciation. 'I like the black one'.
• A tubby American Fat Fighter in Selfridges, wearing shorts WAAAAY too small for her physique - 'Please, you gotta gimme something, I'm gonna BREAK OUT!'
• A Camden Brevrin inviting us to his couzns b-day bash in 2 weeks. 'Are you 2 an item my man?', 'No, no we're not mate', 'Ah, then you'll be pleased to know that the turnout for the party is often 75% bootifool ladeez'. Leah didn't respond well to that fact. No-sir-ee. We were half-tempted to reply, after his 20-minute speech, 'Excuse moi monsieur, we are from errr, Marseilles. We come only for weekend. Merci. Au revoir, err 'bledren'
• Zombies on the Tube. No Joke.

Oh, and the Black Eyed Peas hit the record for 20 weeks at Number 1 today. Loved em when they were underground ;) I'm proud.

Captions #1 Expect More To Come...

Andy thought it was just a harmless game of Snake.
How wrong he was.

My Ultimate Goals In life

• Cheap New York apartment
• 2L Keg of Irn Bru Wodka
  
• Telescope
• A chair to think in
  
• These would complete me

The Perils of Boredom

Me, clueless and pondering ^^^

Boredom's a funny thing. Like a dull cardboard box containing a working time machine, there's certainly more to this ugly state of mind than meets the eye.

For instance, today I was lying on my sofa. A Mystery Hunters re-run was showing on the Telebox, whilst my little brother was getting excessively frustrated at not being able to slay the dragon on Oblivion - almost frothing at the mouth with anger. Any good brother would tend to that, and slay that virtual, lizardy bitch with ease, but I... was elsewhere.

I began, once again, to consider the nature of existance, the purpose of why we're here.

Sure, once could say it's to make the lives of others happier, but doesn't that simply equate us to a glorified ant colony?

Is something 'feeding' off of the comfort and happiness we provide to one-another?

Did that 'something' place us here with this precise purpose, like a biological-emotional factory to fuel it's own existance?

If so, what is the purpose of THAT being's existance?

And on-and-on my train of thought ran, unti-*THWACK!*
The little brother slaps me on the ankle with a slipper, followed by - 'Damn it Waad! I can't kill this bloody dwagon, you said you'd help me!'

That's 10 minutes on the naughty step, a very bloody bunch of megabytes, and a yet-deeper insight into one possible branch on the tree of existance. Also, my ankle hurts :'(

Universe - The Journey

Seeing as this is another blog, and I created my Magnum Opus years ago by accident, it only seems right that I post it here ASAP. Exposure, exposure and lack of self-esteem are the names of the game. Enjoy :)

Genesis 1:Outnumbered

Hmm. This is pretty swish. I've never had a diary before. Is that what this is? Do you even care what I'm writing? Of course not, so on this blog, I'll be doing my very best to keep you engaged, or at least myself, entertained.

In the words of John Cleese: 'And, we're OFF!'